Dear Myka Stauffer,
Should I approach as Influencer to Influencer? Adoptee to (former) adoptive mom? Human to human? What would speak louder to you?
My name is Taylor. I am new to influencing but I have many years of experience in social media marketing. I know what it’s like to get those special brand collaborations. To find your special niche where other people look to you as an expert. I’ve found mine to be in lifestyle and beauty while you found that in the mommy blog world. But then you found yourself in the adoption niche. A niche I am well familiar with as I maintain a blog about my own Chinese adoption. You have chosen to position yourself as an advocate for international adoption and adoptees. Yet, I can’t help but feel that you valued the money more than your actual relationship with your former son.
My name is Taylor. I am a Chinese adoptee. I have spent countless years struggling with my identity as a Chinese American Adoptee. I have struggled with my adoption and the countless what ifs that come with it. There are times that I love being adopted and times where I absolutely hate it. Two things have helped me navigating my adoption, my faith in the Lord and my adoptive parents. When my adoptive parents adopted me, they didn’t get some pristine file listing my needs and abilities. They didn’t know my genetic history or genealogy. Yet they chose to be my parents. We have our ups and downs and yet they have always and always will be my parents. I sadly can’t say the same about your former son.
You asked for support from your followers with your journey both emotional and financially. You exploited your former son’s personal information to get more views. You chose to have a fourth biological child when you were already struggling to take care of the one you chose to bring into the family. You chose to bring your former son into your family. You didn’t randomly become pregnant with him. You had to go through countless forms, evaluations, and trials to finally bring him home. You chose to welcome him into your home as a son only to rehome him a few years later. You chose to adopt him when you could have said no. Would that have been a hard decision? Absolutely, especially when your heart was set on adopting. Would that have saved your former son from additional and unneeded trauma? 100%.
Putting the adoptee and influencer point of views aside, it is disturbing to see the lack of care your family is exhibiting towards this whole situation. Your TikTok has videos of your other children who you are loving on. Your Instagram shows followers how to clean their house and how cute your biological children were. I realize there might have been issues you chose to keep off camera, but you also chose to share very intimate details about your former son’s life just to make a buck. You chose to step up and be your former son’s parents. But you ultimately chose to keep your biological family together and send away the adopted one like he was an unwanted pet.
Myka, I think this boils down to you. You and your husband had a choice. You could have chosen so many other paths for your family. There are so many worthy children here in the United States or any other country. You admitted you were not quick to jump on board with the idea of adopting a special needs child. Why did you choose the answer yes?